It can be awful when you don't understand what a child says, can't it? So I've put together some strategies that you and your child can use to try and figure it out.

First of all, you want to respond to the child in a way that keeps the conversation going where possible and doesn't make them feel self conscious about their speech. You want to show them that you care about what they have to say, not how they are saying it, and you want them to keep trying to communicate with you. So, if you don't understand what they have said, don't pretend you have understood; instead, try some of the strategies outlined below to try and work it out with them.

Here's six things you can try:
1. Respond as though the responsibility for not understanding is your fault, not theirs, so you can say something like, "I can't hear you over all that noise" or "Sorry, my ears aren't working well."

2. Tell them what you did understand. This will help them realise you WERE listening and care about what they have to say. You can say things like "What did you want me to do with the crayon? Did you say apple or orange juice?" "Did you say fire engine?" "Were you telling me about you and Daddy going shopping?

3. Ask if they have a different word they can use to tell you.

4. See if they can show you another way. Can they show you by pointing or showing you something, can them mime it, can they draw or write it?

5. Try asking wh questions to get the important information to help you guess what they said, so "Where did you go?" "Who was there?" "What else happened?"

6. If there's someone else around, try asking them, as sometimes another adult or child can understand better.

Once you DO understand what they've said, you can repeat the word or sentence the correct way, so they get the correct model. Don't ask them to repeat or imitate the word, because if they could do it correctly, they would have done it in the first place! But if they do try to fix up their speech error, you can praise them for trying, even if they don't get it correctly, e.g. "Well done for trying to fix that up."

OK, so that's what you can do, now what are some things that children can do if people aren't understanding them? Below are some strategies that you can support them with using and that they will hopefully learn to do over time. Some of these are skill-dependent, so older children will be able to use more of the strategies than younger children.

Nine things children can try:
1. The first thing is something that they are probably already doing, which is repeat what they said. This sometimes helps and it is the most natural thing to try first. Maybe you'll understand the second or third time they say it.

2. The second thing is for them to try using different words to explain what it was they were trying to say. Maybe we'll understand if different speech sounds are used.

3. The third thing is for them to ask the person listening what they didn't understand, so they know what it is they need to try and help the listener with, so they could say something like "Which word did you not understand."

4. The fourth thing is for them to try telling someone else, to see if they understand and can translate for them.

5. The fifth thing is to try to show the listener, by pointing, showing an object, acting it out.

6. Sixth thing is to try to draw it.

7. Seventh thing if your child can write, is to try and write it.

8. Eighth thing is to start giving more information to help the listener guess, and often thinking about wh questions can help here, so what it was, where it was, when it was, who was there, why it happened, how it happened.

9. Ninth thing is to try modifying the environment to see if that helps, so moving from a noisy room, closing the window if it's noisy outside, turning off the TV, that sort of thing.

I've made a handout with things that listeners can try to help understand the child, and a handout with things that children can try to help listeners understand them. 

Download these handouts and print them out to help you remember what to do. You can give copies to people in your life who struggle to understand your child. You can use the speaker strategies handout to go through the things with your child that they can do if people don't understand them.

If you'd like regular, specialised support to help you support your child's ongoing speech development, then my annual membership is perfect for you. There's weekly, live trainings in a bite-sized format, with strategies you can implement straight away. Plus fortnightly group calls, where you can ask questions about your child, a one-hour 1:1 video call with me that you can use at any time, access to one speech sound video course of your choice, and all my handouts. Please contact me using the contact button if you're interested.